Could these really be my dreams?

My dream last night:  a teacher at school, Dr. Ennever lost her keys.  In my dream I had found them on the floor earlier that day by the teachers mailboxes.  Finding them, I put her keys in a safe place at the bottom of a drawer and went off to teach my classes.  At about 4 o’clock she was running around frantic trying to find them.  By the slimmest chance she runs into me.  Oh, I say, I put them at the bottom of my desk drawer. 

In the dream I immediately feel embarrassed that I forgot to tell her I found them.  I am strongly tempted to lie because I am so embarrassed she is stressed, late, and running around because of me.  I decide to tell the truth because (a) I cannot think of a plausible excuse and (b) in that weird way of dreams, I realize that it is only a dream and I’ll be leaving it in a few seconds anyway.  I wake up troubled by the lie.   

But on a more fundamental level, I wonder why my dreams are so BORING.  Because they’re all like this, a heavy emphasis on personal responsibility.  And so boring.  Unplayful.  The steady theme of conscientious behavior makes them fit for a children’s book of virtues or Bible school.  Can this really be me?  I don't understand.  They seem more appropriate to the grim moralists I know, like my one roommate, the Taiwan CCNY student, or my friend the Serbian chemist.  This nightly rebuking seems at odds with my self-image.  I'm so disappointed in myself for dreaming like this. 

Maybe it’s okay though, normal.  Probably other people are serious in dreams too.  For reassurance I ask my friend Jimmy what he dreamed last night.  “Penguins,” he unhelpfully says.  “The penguins kept getting up on the bed and I would tickle them to shoo them off.  (Beaming huge smile)  It was a very happy dream.  ”

Maybe I should read  poetry before bed or something.

Comments

[Noah Landow]

most interesting post ever, ev.

[erin]

From Douglas Coupland's Microserfs (paraphrased): "My dreams are more like RAND simulations, practicing my day before it happens."

Or something to that effect.

[Peter]

Well, you might employ the Who's positive (?) spin: "But my dreams they aren't as empty / as my conscience seeems to be."